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Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow
Swarm over, Death!

Come, bombs, and blow to smithereens
Those air-conditioned, bright canteens,
Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans
Tinned minds, tinned breath.

Mess up the mess they call a town -
A house for ninety-seven down
And once a week for half-a-crown
For twenty years,

And get that man with double chin
Who'll always cheat and always win,
Who washes his repulsive skin
In women's tears,

And smash his desk of polished oak
And smash his hands so used to stroke
And stop his boring dirty joke
And make him yell.

But spare the bald young clerks who add
The profits of the stinking cad;
It's not their fault that they are mad,
They've tasted Hell.

It's not their fault they do not know
The birdsong from the radio,
It's not their fault they often go
To Maidenhead

And talk of sports and makes of cars
In various bogus Tudor bars
And daren't look up and see the stars
But belch instead.

In labour-saving homes, with care
Their wives frizz out peroxide hair
And dry it in synthetic air
And paint their nails.

Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales

John Betjeman


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‘I grew up in Slough in the 1970s.
If you want to know what Slough was like in the 1970s,
go there now.’

Jimmy Carr:

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..........there are worst places,
Slough, New Maldon, Basinstoke..........

from: Terry Jones Douglas Adams Starship Titanic 

There was an old person of Slough,
Who danced at the end of a bough;
But they said, 'If you sneeze,
You might damage the trees,
You imprudent old person of Slough.

Edward Lear

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There was a young woman from Slough
Who last year developed a cough
She wasn't to know it would last until now
Lets hope the poor girl pulls through!

Mrs Trellis, of North Wales (in a letter to BBC Radio Show I'm sorry I haven't a Clue) 1999

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SLOUGH

A telegraph Station
Hotel - Crown
Market Day - Thursday

"After the bustle incident to the arrival of fresh passengers, and the departure of others, has in some degree subsided, it will be found that the arrangements for the comfort and convenience of those alighting at this station are equal, if not superior, to those of any other line.

A magnificent hotel, for aristocratic visitors, here so frequently found, is within a few minutes' walk, and numerous taverns, less ornamental, and consequently, less expensive, are in the immediate neighbourhood.

Slough is now chiefly noticeable as the station or medium of communication, by the branch railway, to Eton and Windsor. It is two and a half miles in length, and passes Eton College, near the Thames".

Bradshaw's Descriptive Railway Hand-Book of Great Britain and Ireland. (1863)

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While visiting Herschel Park in an episode of the BBC TV programme Great Railway Journeys, said:
 ‘If this beautiful green park wasn’t your view of Slough, and I confess it wasn’t mine, then we should be ashamed of ourselves. We have done an injustice to this fine Berkshire town

.’Michael Portillo:

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